My Word of the Year: Allow

Now that we’re a good way into 2024, let’s check in on those New Year’s intentions. I choose a theme word instead of a resolution. It’s too easy to fall down on resolutions. “Hey! Happy New Year! Let’s set ourselves up for failure from word go.”

Not exactly positive motivation.

A word helps me create an intention that is broad and flexible. Rather than a goal I accomplish or don’t, a word is a tool I can return to as I need throughout the year.

For 2024, I knew I had to find a word that works for me as a designer and a business owner, while honoring my new life as a mother. So after some thought and meditation, my theme word is – drum roll, please…

ALLOW. 

Allow things to be in motion. Allow myself to change the plan, or have no plan. Allow things to be messy and imperfect. In other words, I need to learn to go with the flow. Roll with the punches. Blow with the wind. Dance to the music the DJ’s playing. 

That doesn’t come naturally to me. I like to have a plan, a strategy, and a contingency or two. Not knowing what is going to work and what isn’t feels uncomfortable. I want to have a plan, set it in motion, and be done with it. I love inbox zero, a clean slate, checking things off the to-do list.

Living with a chronic illness means I’ve had to learn how to make adjustments and turn my plan on a dime. But babies are a whole new unpredictable, messy, adorable, screaming, pooping, amazing, exhausting, beautiful ball game. 

My child is undoubtedly the cutest, most perfect baby ever (I am not biased) but he doesn’t respect a to-do list. The only clean slate in his life is a clean diaper, and the only schedule he cares about is his feeding schedule. I can’t block off time for spit-up or cuddles in my Calendly. That stuff gets addressed in the moment, as needed, and that means tasks sometimes aren’t completed. 

So I need to allow things to be unfinished. Allow myself time and space to figure out how to do this. Can I work with him in the room or do I need to be in my office with a noise machine on? Allow for the possibility probability that the answer might be yes to one thing one day and another thing another day, and I won’t know until it happens. 

Sometimes I’m afraid I’ll feel like he’s getting in the way of something getting done. In truth, there is very little that cannot wait. I can allow myself to be patient. Allow the dishes to slide, or the email to wait so I can stare at his sweet face a little longer. 

I am learning how to allow myself to struggle, to be frustrated, to not have to be my best self. I had hoped that by the time my maternity leave ended at the beginning of March, I would be feel more adjusted. But I’ve gone through – am going through – a big life transition, and there is no reason I need to give myself a deadline. That would kind of defeat the purpose, right? “Christy, you must feel settled and comfortable by March 1st or the boss will be very unhappy!”

Pssst… the boss is me. I’m the only one who needs to allow for what I need.

I will allow myself time.
I will allow myself to feel all the feelings.
I will allow myself as much grace as I need.
I will allow myself to hope I will feel more confident in some of the parts one day.

I will allow “one day” to happen… whenever it happens.